German Letter: Part 1

A few months ago I was the winning bidder of two Club Nintendo magazines from Germany. Both issues were from 1995. I found out that Germany got their own magazines. These magazines are superior to the ones that I got here in Holland, but these German magazines weren't free. Six issues costed DM 29.95, according to a subscription cart in the magazine (you would also receive a free Donkey Kong Country CD). Now I understand why there were never German players in the Players' Profiles section in the Dutch Club Nintendo.

Turning to the point I want to talk about, a certain letter in one of these magazines (issue 4 from 1995). I always read the section with letters from readers, one in particular got my attention, here it is translated:

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Angry Letter

Hello Club Nintendo!
I (13) am very angry! This is my fifteenth letter to you, and you didn't find it necessary in all these years (I'm since 1991 a subscriber to you), to publish some of my creative writings! Now there's also of course the possibility to write frustrated to you for the next four years, until I've reached Letter Nr. 75. Man, your whistling, I already have spent around 15,- DM shipping for you! You, in the redaction, are also idiots (excuse me for the devaluing force expression!). Such a nincompoop hardly writes a four-lines contentsless letter (see CN 6/94, right down Page 5) and then you even publish this piece of this dork too.
More criticism: there's not enough NES-coverage. What has actually happened to the eight-bit console? Nintendo owe everything to it, the fame, the honour. Recently you've only used 3, 4 double-pages about the NES. Somewhat poor, hae?!

Christian Gehlen, Kempen

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So far so good. I think this letter is pretty hilarious myself and this guy has a good point. Now comes the reaction from the people working at Club Nintendo.

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Sorry, we couldn't print your letter unabridged, because it was packed with too much nonsense. By the way, we had the same problem with your last fourteen letters, but nevertheless  you've made it happen that at least one of your 'creative' writings is printed.
About NES. Sure Nintendo has a lot to owe to the eight-bit console, but Nintendo always stands for future and that's called ULTRA 64. But comfort yourself, with a few handles you can turn your NES into a toaster, hamster cage or night pot. This way, the NES will not die...

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This guy was right, they're idiots! These people are working for Nintendo, and they're just insulting the NES in their answers! Yes, this made me quite angry. And yes, I don't understand that whistling part myself. Below is the original text in German.

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Frustbrief

Hallo Club Nintendo!
Mich (13) hat der Frust gepackt! Das hier ist mein 15. Brief an Euch und Ihr habt es in all den Jahren (ich bin seit 1991 Mitglied bei Euch) nicht nötig gehabt, eines von meinen kreativen Schriftstücken abzudrucken! Jetzt is da natürlich die Möglichkeit, weitere vier Jahre frustiert an Euch zu schreiben, bis ich bei Brief Nr. 75 angelangt bin. Mensch, Ihr Pfeifen, ich habe bereits 15,- DM Porto für Euch geopfert! Ihr seid in der Redaktion aber auch Idioten (man entschuldige den abwertenden Kraftausdruck!). Kaum schreibt so ein Trottel ein vierzeiliges, inhaltloses Briefchen (siehe CN 6/94, Seite 5 rechts unten) druckt Ihr das Teil von diesem Knalli auch noch ab.
Weitere Kritik: NES kommt zu kurz. Was ist nur aus dem Achtbitter geworden? Ihm hat Nintendo alles zu verdanken, den Ruhm, die Ehre. Kürzlich habt Ihr nur 3,4 Doppelseiten über das NES verbraucht. Etwas arm, hä?!